There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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