Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
