Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize