the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
