I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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