i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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