yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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