i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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