idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
