Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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