he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
