You really coming over, don't trick.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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