So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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