WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
