She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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