Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
