Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
