Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
where are my pants?
in the oven.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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