I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
