I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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