i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she smelled like a LAN party
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
