Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
