I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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