I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
