Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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