dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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