i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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