but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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