I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
MIDGETS
????
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize