this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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