why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
