Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
