It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
