remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
