The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Drunk is not a location!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
