Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.