Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
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i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
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I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.