yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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