he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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