I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
