I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
