Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I came so hard my ears popped.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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