Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She's the barista slut.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
