I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
