Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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