will power is for people who don't want to get laid
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
