walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
