note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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