Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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