Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
