I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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