if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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