i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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