You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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