I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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