The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
