If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
