Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
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If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
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It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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