you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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