I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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