What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
