i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
