You made me cry and you don't even care
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize